whapakk.

(Alternatively titled “Ricardo’s Love for the Woman Without a Pimp.”)

Ricardo was a man half-mad in love with a stranger: Eliza, who packs her bag everyday with the most unusual things women would bring with them to work, who passes by the love-struck man’s post every single day on her way to her own confinement.

Yesterday, she brought with her a can of tuna flakes for lunch. They had a can opener in the office and she figured it was a cheap way to regain the energy halfway through the afternoon when everyone at work felt like watching the clock tick away to five o’clock, when they would all rush out of the building and unbind themselves from lousy Mondays. Specifically, she brought a certain flavor of tuna flakes with her: menudo, because her boss liked it. Her boss, she liked.

And yesterday was the day Ricardo decided to approach this lady in red – red in love and madder than his madness for her, for her love’s purpose was both for business and pleasure and whatever else comes with those – and tell her about his appreciation for every breath she steals from him every day he sees her from his post. He was to tell her, “Gusto kitang makilala (I want to know you),” to which she would probably respond by telling him, “Hindi ako nagpapakilala sa mga taong basta-basta lang (I don’t introduce myself to just anyone).” But he would go on and do it anyway, for at least it would be a good enough end to this madness: her voice telling him to fuck off and leave her alone.

“Gusto kitang makilala,” Ricardo told her, as soon as she appeared from the corner she always appears from everyday. He waited for her all morning in case she showed up earlier than usual, but she was on time, as she always is.

“Ako ba ang kausap mo (Are you talking to me)?” Eliza asked. She was in a good mood: earlier, she told herself that she would not be grouchy the whole day, so as not to spoil her preparations for her beloved boss. Happy thoughts all day through.

“Oo (Yes),” he replied. “Pasensya na, araw-araw ka kasing dumadaan dito. Lagi kitang nakikita. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, kilalang-kilala na kita. Pero hindi. Kaya gusto kitang makilala. (Sorry, it’s because you pass this way everyday. I always see you. So, I feel like I know much about you. But no. That’s why I want to know you.)”

“Pasensya na (Sorry),” she apologized. “Wala po akong maibibigay. Ito nalang. (I have nothing to give. Just this.)” She handed him the can of tuna flakes, bowed her head, and walked away. Wala po akong maibibigay, pagpasensyahan na po ninyo ako, sakto lang ang pamasahe ko. (I have nothing to give, my apologies, but I only brought enough for my fare.)

Ricardo took the can with him back to his post and had three things running through his mind simultaneously: that first, she did not find him weird; that second, whether he looked or sounded like the beggar she figured him to be; and that third, at least he received something for all of the stupid ogling he did for months.

Eliza would later visit a store during her lunch break and buy another can of tuna flakes of the same flavor to replace the one she gave Ricardo. She would later enjoy it with her boss, who would take her to a place of pleasure: a place familiar to Eliza, as the man guarding the entrance of the building was an insignificant person who earlier snacked on tuna flakes as well.

“Anak ng menudo!” Ricardo exclaimed in a excited hush. “Hindi ko ginustong malaman mong nagta-trabaho ako sa shortayman. Pero dahil narito ka na at mukhang ginagawa mo na ‘yung gusto kong ipagawa sa iyo, gusto mo ba akong maging bugaw mo? (I did not want you to figure out that I work at a short-time motel. But since you are already here and presumably already doing what I want you to do, would you like me to be your pimp?)”

(Originally posted on StaticRiot.)

It was a long night. Four hours, to be exact.

Yes, I watched Binibining Pilipinas’ Grand Coronation Night earlier, live at the Araneta Coliseum. I was rooting for #3, Patrixia Shirley Santos, previously crowned Miss Bicolandia 2009. However, she didn’t get into the top 10. (Don’t worry, ikaw pa rin ang panalo sa puso ko. Whatdafuck?)

#3, Patrixia Shirley Santos.

We were expecting #18, Helen Nicolette Henson, to bag one of the top three places (and represent the Philippines in international competition) after winning the Ms. Fit n’ Right, Ms. Philippine Airlines, and Ms. Photogenic awards as well as delivering a superb answer at the Q&A segment. It was disappointing to see her drop to fifth place, but I’m pretty sure people took notice and I think she should have a bright future ahead of her.

#18, Helen Nicolette Henson.

Ipagpatawad mong minahal kita agad.

One of the highlights of the night for me was the answer given by #21, Czarina Catherine Gatbonton, to the question posed to her by one of the judges. She was asked, “If you had another life to live, what would you like to be and why?” Here’s her response:

“Puno.”

“Magandang gabi po sa inyong lahat. Akin pong sasagutin ang inyong katanungan sa ating sariling wika, ang wikang Pilipino. Kung ako’y pagbibigyan po muli ng isa pang buhay, mas gugustuhin ko pong maging halam-… puno. Puno na nagbibigay sa atin ng hininga, nagbibigay sa atin ng buhay. Maraming salamat po.”

- Czarina Catherine Gatbonton, Binibining Pilipinas-World 2010

After relaying that tidbit from the coronation night to a friend, she told me this:

“Pero malalaki ang ugat nun! Saka laging iniihian ng aso. Every year, tumataba siya kasi nadadagdagan ng ring ‘yung trunk niya. Tapos hindi nakakagalaw. Pag minalas, papatumbahin siya ng illegal logger.”

- Anonymous friend

I think she has a point. (Doesn’t matter; Gatbonton would later be crowned Binibining Pilipinas-World. And yes, I think I like her charm.)

There were fans in the house, alright.

Dingdong Dantes and Carla Abellana hosted the event.

Anyway, it was an experience just being there to watch the show live. I’ve never attended an event like this before and while I might not be that much into it to want to attend more, at least I’ve had a story to tell today.

Helen Nicolette Henson (#18) and Dianne Necio (#22) received second and first runner-up honors, respectively. Krista Mae Arrieta Kleiner (#11) was crowned Binibining Pilipinas-International, Ma. Venus Raj (#10) was awarded Binibining Pilipinas-Universe, and Czarina Catherine Gatbonton (#21) became this year's Binibining Pilipinas-World.

Congratulations to the winners (and hello to #3)!

(Update: I have uploaded and added to this post videos of Czarina Catherine Gatbonton and Helen Nicolette Henson answering the question directed to them at the Q&A segment of the competition.)

“Buti nga ngayon, kahit paano, nararamdaman mong malamig kahit naka-dos lang; kanina, naka-tres na hindi mo pa halos maramdaman ‘yung lamig dahil lumalaban ‘yung init eh! Bukas nito, mamaya nito, kapag nagkarga ako ng LPG, iiyak ako. Diyan na mapupunta lahat ng pera ko. Sobrang init eh. Malakas kami sa gas kapag ganyang sobrang init. Lalo na pag nag-number three ka ng aircon, naku po! Isang oras akong naka-number three kanina! Mula alas-dies, alas-onse, alas-dose; ngayon lang ako nagbaba, o, dahil naramdaman kong malamig na eh.

“Hindi mo napansin, nakabuka ‘yung hood ko? Hehehe. Para may singawan ‘yung init ng makina! At March palang ngayon! Mas matindi ‘yan pagpasok ng April. Eh ano pa, El Nino pa. Kanina nga nagkulimlim na eh, nung umaga? Makulimlim na kaninang umaga eh. Sabi ko, ‘Ituloy mo na, iulan mo na ‘yan!’ Eh wala, hindi umulan.

“Ayan o ‘yung salamin, ang init. Hehehe. Sobrang init kung wala ‘yang tinapal ko diyang papel. Sobrang init sa balat niyan, kapag hindi ka naglagay ng cover na ganyan! Wala eh, bawal naman ang tint sa taxi eh.

“Kapag ganyang mainit, marami, maraming nag-o-overheat diyan na taxi. ‘Yung mga luma. Itong mga ganitong medyo bagu-bago pa, lumalaban ng konti. Ang dami kong nadaanan kanina eh, sa gasolinahan, ang daming nag-overheat! Hehehe.

“Itong sa akin naman, hindi nag-o-overheat, kaya lang, ayaw lumamig nung aircon kasi ‘yung sa compressor eh, nahihirapan siya. Binabasa ko nalang siya. Kapag nabasa na, mararamdaman mo, pipitik ‘yung aircon, mag-o-automatic. Pag pasok mo sa loob ng oto, malamig na! Lalamig na uli ‘yan. Iba ‘yung lamig nung pag nag-automatic ‘yung compressor.

“‘Yang airport taxi na ‘yan, bago ‘yan. Hindi madaling mag-init ‘yan. May binenta na silang ganyan dati, ganyang modelo. Yellow plate ‘yan, at iba’t iba ang may-ari. Hahaha! Ano ‘yan eh, parang korporasyon siya. Ngayon, puro airport taxi sila, kaya lang ang may-ari, iba-iba. Kunwari, sampung unit, kay Chavit, tapos ‘yung sampung unit, kay Pacman. Parang ganun ba, parang kabit-kabit sila. Kung sino ‘yung malalakas sa administrasyon, sa nakapuwesto, ‘yan ang nagmamay-ari ng mga taxi na ‘yan.

“Noong araw, di ba, ‘yung si Ramos pa yata ang nakaupo, ‘yang mga airport taxi hawak ni ano, may-ari si Matt Ranillo. Mayroon pa rin siya na units na nandoon ngayon sa airport, kaya lang hindi na tulad ng dati na talagang monopolized niya, na kanya lang ang nandoon.

“Kami nga eh bawal kami sa arrival eh! Puwede kaming maghatid, pero doon lang sa departure, doon sa arrival bawal na kami.

“Dito ka na ba bababa, sa Unitel? Puwedeng dito ka nalang bumaba sa tapat ng tindahan?”

- Mamang Drayber

Tribute lines.

Happy birthday, Freddie Roach. My birthday wish for you is something not only you would want, but millions of Filipino boxing fans, as well: that you get to train Manny Pacquiao for fights beyond Joshua Clottey.

Well, that means I’m wishing for him not to win in the upcoming elections for obvious, selfish reasons.

At the heart of the urban jungle that is Makati, a team of production crew members, actors, and actresses (veterans and rising stars) lined up to face a firing squad of cameramen and media people; questions were fired, defenses went up, and an already great film was glorified further in the process.

The cast, director, and writer of The Red Shoes.

I like the fact that this outfit representing the upcoming film, The Red Shoes, was very proud of its work; Tessie Tomas even went as far as to say it was a step towards “a Renaissance of sorts for Philippine cinema,” an industry beset by piracy, budget cuts, and deterioration of quality over the years: a natural occurrence given that over time, a formula for “great movies” is improved upon and followed in hopes of guaranteeing ticket sales, and that this formula is the same menace that makes many movies that hit the big screen look, sound, and play out the same way as the last one before it.

The Red Shoes, the group claims, is an original film from top to bottom, a true gem of Philippine film-making history, a milestone in originality and representation of local culture. I was convinced the first time I saw the film in an advanced access to it two weeks prior. I was convinced further a week later when I saw it again. The defense of those part of the production could not convince me more of the quality of the film, but they offered me bits and pieces beyond what was shown on-screen that allowed me to appreciate that piece of art on a greater level.

Marvin Agustin, Tessie Tomas, and Nikki Gil.

I anticipated that this would be a special afternoon, and I was correct; the decision to maximize my recording devices was fruitful as I was able to capture sights (still and moving) and audio on separate tools.

I had a relatively unique appreciation of the movie for I partially share backgrounds in advertising with the scriptwriter and the director, as well as an attempt at making it big at Cinemalaya (for which The Red Shoes was originally intended to participate in); I wanted to congratulate him and his team for a job well done but they were swarmed by media personnel from all sides of the room. I had to hand my congratulations somewhere else, so I am doing it here now on this journal.

I have a soft spot for vanguards of Philippine art and culture, and I find it hard not to love a movie trying to represent a chunk of Philippine history, to entice audiences from whichever sector and class, to be artful and original, and to be of the uncompromising kind, the kind of which is rarely seen not only in the local film industry but in a broader sense, the Philippine way of life.

Proud of their latest work, and rightfully so.

At the heart of the urban jungle that is Makati, a team of production crew members, actors, and actresses (veterans and rising stars) lined up to face a firing squad of cameramen and media people; questions were fired, defenses went up, and an already great film was glorified further in the process. This team was composed of vanguards of Philippine cinema, they were proud to say as I am proud to present them to you; it somewhat is a cliche to say that we need more people like them to churn out quality works in the future, but it is not to say that the inspiration that future film-makers and writers and actors and actresses can draw from this film will help shape the future of Philippine art.

Bravo.

(Originally posted on StaticRiot.)

Extended to March 24, 2010!

Announcement: I am extending this Whapakkontest until March 24, 2010! (Okay, tatlong araw lang, pero kahit na, hindi ba?)

Week 1 winner. Week 1’s theme is “must-try food/dining places,” and I’m happy to announce the winner of the week! For sending in an entry about something I haven’t tried before and I will probably try out this weekend, I would like to congratulate Vivian V. Aguilar!

Carabao Milkshake.

She sent an entry about Cuillere’s Carabao Milkshake with the following caption:

It’s not just a milkshake, it’s a carabao milkshake topped with a generous amount of cheese shavings. So flavorful, so luxuriously cheesy! It’s one hell of a cheesy drink. What could be more cheeeeesy than that? Okay now, are you ready for a close-up? Say cheese…

Thanks for submitting your entry, Vivian! You win a Php 1,000 Ayala eGC from Ovi by Nokia! Will get in touch with you soon.

Call for entries. For the second week, I’m looking for your must-try travel destination discoveries! As with last week, register for a free Ovi account at http://www.ovi.com/ and use your new Ovi email account to send your entries to juddstamaria@ovi.com (please include your full name and contact number in your submissions). Here’s a sample entry:

Forget about John Lloyd and Bea: their recent movie didn't do justice to the beauty of the Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I visited KL a few months back and this is the first photo I took when I got there; it's really a sight you just have too see especially at night!

Join now and win a Php 1,000 Ayala electronic gift certificate! Week 2 runs until March 9, 2010!

This contest is sponsored by Nokia Ovi.