whapakk.

The last couple of weeks has been a blur. So many changes, both planned and unplanned, have really pushed a lot of new things into the limelight. I’m beginning to shift my focus on to things I’ve neglected, and I realized that from last year to now, I really haven’t been able to achieve a lot.

Thing is, I never planned to achieve a lot in my first half-year out of my previous work, anyway. The deal was to place myself in a better position to achieve, and by far, I think I’ve done that. I feel that I no longer bear the chains that have been weighing me down the past two jobs I’ve had.

So those were the six months leading up to now. Those months were grueling, full of adjustments, and were more about shifting my viewpoints and understanding the big advertising picture from afar and from where I am now, as part of a publisher’s sales team.

But those six months ended with a barrage of events that really threw me off my rhythm and forced me to rethink things, and to reconsider my position at work, at home, in the context of a relationship, and financially. Everything was tied together and I knew that I had to strike a balance between those things.

What happened the last two weeks? My girlfriend and I broke up. Ketsana (Ondoy) devastated our house. We decided to move out of the house and into a condo unit at Eastwood for good. (I’ve been thinking of moving out on my own, as well). And in light of our upcoming team trip to Singapore and Malaysia two weeks from now, I find myself in a deep financial crisis that I haven’t really figured out how to solve just yet.

Part of the adjustment process is getting used to stashing my work tools in this bag, because I don't think I'll be driving for a while.

I had to restructure my life. I had to lay my plans out once more, and I had to rethink how I’d be taking things from this point on. It’s a new beginning of sorts. Again. And there’s no escaping it because my career, financial, and personal circumstances give me no choice.

I’ve laid out my financial plans for the next six months. I’ve laid out my targets for the next year, on a monthly basis, looking at everything I have to consider: from my most basic needs to the buffers I need for “entertaining” myself.

My suitcase and some of my clothes are about ready to go.

I think I won’t really have to move out on my own, so I’ve laid out a plan for that only as a contingency plan should I really, really decide that it’s time to “launch.” The financial plans I’ve made already have that option taken into consideration.

I won’t elaborate much on the unquantifiable pieces of the puzzle, but the bottomline is that I want to be in the driver’s seat. I want to take control of my life and I don’t want any stupid typhoons, parents’ mandates, career requirements, and other crabs to pull me down. I’m fed up of not being in control and I want to fly out.

My favorite books are packed in a pink paper bag (yes, it's pink).

If there’s anything I miss because of the sacrifices I’ve made, it’s the company of my friends. If anything, I want to let them know that I’ll be back soon. Once I’ve moved out to Eastwood, once I’m back from the long vacation, and once I feel that, at least, I know that I’ve become the captain of my ship. They’re a vital piece of this huge change, and I think that soon, their company will be what’ll tell me that I’m back home.