Rada Street corner Dela Rosa Street.

Maraming kuwento si ‘Tay tungkol kay ‘Nay. Mula pa noong mga panahong hindi pa ako pumapasok sa kindergarten, kinukuwentuhan na ako niyan gabi-gabi. (Hindi ko naaalala kung minsan ko bang nasambit ang mga katagang “kuwentuhan niyo pa po ako” ngunit sa pagbabalik-tanaw kong ito, masasabi kong tuwang-tuwa talaga ako sa mga istoryang ibinabahagi niya sa akin noon.) Hanggang high school, hanggang magkolehiyo na ako, kinukuwentuhan ako ni ‘Tay; hindi man habang nakalagpak ako sa kama ko sa pagtulog, ginagawa naman niya ito habang nagpapasahan kami ng tagay ng alak.

Marahil sa dinami-rami ng kanyang mga naibahagi sa aking mga pangyayari sa pagitan nila ni ‘Nay noong bata-bata pa sila, isa sa mga pinakagusto kong kuwento ay iyong tungkol sa Aphrodisiac Sisig. Hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng aphrodisiac noong una kong marinig ang istorya nito, at bilang isang batang walang bahid ng kalibugan sa isip, inisip kong may napakaromantikong kahulugan ang salita. Noong malaman ko ang tunay na laman ng salitang ito pagtuntong ko ng mataas na paaralan, nagbago ang tingin ko kay ‘Tay. Hindi naman sa nawalan ako ng respeto sa kanya – bagkus, lalo pa nga akong natuwa sa karakter na ginagampanan niya sa buhay ko bilang isang amang mapagmahal, maginoo, at medyo bastos.

Rada Street (sa Makati) ang pangalan ng kalsadang kinatatayuan ng opisinang pinapasukan ni ‘Nay noong 2010. May kasintahan pa siya noon, kaopisina niya; Litotoy raw ang pangalan ng “bugok” na ito, ayon kay ‘Tay, ngunit di ako naniniwala sa kanya. May ugaling ganoon ang ama ko: nambababoy ng pangalan ng mga tao.

May tinatawag silang mga “Jolly Jeep” noon sa Makati: mga maliliit na tindahan ng ulam, kanin, meryenda, softdrinks, sigarilyo, at iba pa. Maihahalintulad ito sa mga karinderyang pinaliit hanggang maging singlaki na lamang ito ng pangkaraniwang banyo. At isa sa mga pinakadinudumog na Jolly Jeep noon ang tindahan sa harap mismo ng opisina ni ‘Nay; maraming Jolly Jeep sa Rada Street, ngunit kapag may nagsabing “Jolly Jeep sa Rada,” walang ibang tinutukoy kundi ang nasabing tindahan. Bakit ito sikat? Dahil sa Aphrodisiac Sisig na ipinagmamalaki ng may-ari ng tindahang ito. Siya ang nagluluto ng putaheng ito na madalas pang pinipilahan tuwing tanghalian.

Bakit aphrodisiac ang sisig na ito? Ayon kay ‘Tay, dinadasalan raw ng nagluluto ang karneng baboy na ginagamit sa paggawa nito at sinasabuyan ng kakaibang mga sangkap bago dalhin sa mismong lugar kung saan ito lulutuin. Sa kakaibang proseso raw na ito nabibihag ang kapangyarihan ng pag-ibig at nakukulong sa karneng kakainin ng mga suki ng tindahan.

Makapangyarihang tunay, ayon kay ‘Tay, na siya namang nagbabanat ng buto noon bilang kargador sa isang construction site malapit sa opisina ni ‘Nay.

Oo. May pinag-aralan ngunit hindi nakapagtapos ng high school si ‘Tay, samantalang edukada’t may itsura’t medyo maykaya si ‘Nay. Pagtatagpong mala-pelikula, ano? Hindi. “Hindi mala-pelikula, anak, dahil alam ko ang ginagawa ko noon at sa tulong ng Aphrodisiac Sisig, alam kong mamahalin rin ako ng iyong ina!” Iyan ang sabi ni ‘Tay, at mahihinuha mong nagkatotoo naman ang pagmamahalang iyon, hindi ba?

“Wala akong pakialam noon kay Litotoy,” pagtatanggol ni ‘Tay sa kanyang sarili. “Alam kong mapupunta rin naman sa akin iyang iyong ina. Hindi ko sila pinakialaman, hindi ko sila ginulo hanggang sa dulo ng aking kakayahan.”

Marahil ang biglaang pagkasira ng bubong ng nasabing Jolly Jeep ang pinakaimportanteng bagay na nangyari para sa aking buhay. Marahil, hindi ako mabubuo kung hindi dahil sa isang matabang batang umakyat sa bubong upang subukang tumalon sa pilahan at daganan iyong mga taong naghihintay para sa kani-kanilang order ng sisig. “Napanood raw niya sa wrestling ‘yung ‘frog splash’,” ayon kay ‘Tay. “Hindi siya nakatalon sa pila ng mga tao; bumigay ‘yung bubong dahil nadulas siya sa trapal na inilagay doon ng may-ari upang hindi mawala.”

Walang nangyaring masama sa batang ito, ngunit nadumihan ang lahat ng mga paninda ng Jolly Jeep at napilitan silang isara muna ito pansamantala habang nililigpit ang mga nasayang na pagkain at habang kinukumpuni ang bubong nito. Ang napiling mag-aayos ng bubong? Isang kargador na nagtatrabaho sa malapit lamang. Nang sabihin niyang hindi niya matatapos ayusin ang bubong dahil kailangan muna niyang kumupit ng mga yerong pagtatagpi-tagpiin, binigyan siya ng isang araw para tapusin ang trabaho. (Ang katotohanan: umuwi si ‘Tay sa kanyang bahay upang matulog muna dahil lubhang nakakapagod ang umaga niya sa construction site.)

Alas-otso ng gabi nang balikan ni ‘Tay ang Jolly Jeep na kanyang aayusin, nang biglang lumabas si ‘Nay mula sa kanyang opisina, umiiyak sa galit at bigla na lamang umupo sa bangketa.

“Bakit ka umiiyak?” ang tanong ni ‘Tay na pawis na pawis at nakasando’t pantalon lamang.

“Anong pakialam mo? Bukas pa ba ‘yang tindahan ninyo?”

At dahil listong mag-isip si ‘Tay (dala ng kanyang mahabang siesta): “Bukas pa, gusto mong sisig? Libre na.”

“Okay.”

Ngunit wala nang sisig sa tindahan. Inuwi ng mga may-ari ng tindahan ang lahat ng gamit nila sa pagluluto at itinapon naman na nila ang mga ulam na nadumihan dahil sa batang hulog ng langit.

“Wala nang sisig. Mag-softdrinks ka nalang.”

“Sige, bahala ka,” sagot ni ‘Nay, na halatang walang gustong ikuwento kay ‘Tay.

Isang bote, na nasimot kaagad ang laman dahil nga’t uhaw na uhaw na si ‘Nay. Isa pang bote ang inabot sa kanya ni ‘Tay at agad rin niya itong inubos. Limang bote ang makalipas, nagsimula nang magkuwento si ‘Nay.

“Nagsayang lang ako ng oras. Hindi naman talaga kami para sa isa’t isa. Ang mga gusto ko lamang naman: tahimik na pamumuhay, matinong trabaho, masayang pamilya. Maliit na bahay? Masaya na ako roon. Hindi ko kailangan ng limang kotse, hindi ko gustong mag-alaga ng maraming negosyo. Mababaw lang akong tao. Madali akong pasayahin. Pero madali rin akong manlula sa sobrang kayamanan.”

“At hindi niya kayang ibaba ang antas ng pamumuhay niya?” ang tanong ni ‘Tay.

“Hindi. Marami siyang pangarap. Marami siyang gusto sa buhay. Hindi siya nakukuntento sa isang platong kanin at dalawang ulam, halimbawa na lamang. Gusto niyang marami siyang pinagpipiliang ulam, kahit alam niyang hindi naman niya mauubos ang lahat ng ito. Ganoon siyang tao.”

“Hindi ako ganoon,” biglang nasambit ni ‘Tay. Nadulas kunwari, ngunit sinadya.

Tamang-tamang nahilo si ‘Nay sa ipinapainom sa kanya ni ‘Tay. (“Tarantado ako noon; nilalagyan ko ng alak ang bawat boteng iniinom ng ‘Nay mo. Habang tumatagal, parami nang parami ang alak na ihinahalo ko sa softdrinks niya. Ang gago ko, ano?”)

Nalasing si ‘Nay, nagkaroon siya ng tatlumpung minutong pagkahumaling kay ‘Tay, at sa loob ng Jolly Jeep nila ako binuo.

Kaya na lamang tiwala ako sa kapangyarihan ng “Jolly Jeep sa Rada Street”: wala mang katotohanan sa gayumang taglay umano ng sisig na ibinebenta rito, naniniwala ako sa kakaibang aphrodisiac na dala ng Jolly Jeep na ito. Gayuma ni ‘Tay, hinahalo sa Tanduay. Mabuti na lamang at tarantado siya; kung hindi dahil sa kasiraan ng ulo niya, hindi ako mabubuo’t wala akong kuwentong ganito ngayon.

Isang tagay para sa kay ‘Tay!

(Originally posted on StaticRiot.)

Pinoy o dayuhan: depende sa trip?

Mahiya ka sa balat mo. Sana’y hindi ka nalang pinanganak na kayumanggi.

(Originally posted on Pakshet.)

Extended to March 24, 2010!

Week 2 winner. Week 2’s theme is “must-try travel places,” and while I have received some interesting entries this week, there’s one entry that stood out. Just to frame it in the appropriate perspective, I’d like to note that this entry comes from a Malaysian currently residing and working here in the Philippines. His must-try travel place? Manila.

As a foreigner living here in Metro Manila, he has great appreciation for both our local urbanscape and the story it tells. And as for us born, raised, and studying or working here, I think it’s worth asking ourselves: how much do we know about, how much have we traveled around, and how much more can we discover here in this place we call home?

“The honest truth about the Philippines is that it’s full of little gems of travel destinations. Great beaches, intimate coves, mountains, lakes, vistas, etc. But must-visit destinations to me are a class of its own. How many people should go to Machu Picchu? Must a traveller go to Great Barrier Reef? Visit the Great Wall of China or the Pyramids? These days with the advent of Google Earth and internet, if one only goes there to ’see things’, I don’t qualify it as a must-visit. A must-visit must be one to visit for the sights and the experience – it must have the potential add something to most people if not many, many people.

“The hard part is not finding a must-visit travel destination in the Philippines; the hard part is actually to choose one.

“First, there is Boracay, of course – great beaches, great hotels, fun nightlife, etc. It’s better than Phuket, Bali but must-visit? Then there is Palawan – even better beaches, better diving, great vistas, lime cliffs, etc. As good as Bora. But must-visit? Then there’s Surigao, one of the top diving sites in the world with surfing and, nearby at Dunsol, swimming with the whale sharks which actually no other place in the world would allow anymore.

“All of these are great places but in the end I have to say a must-visit is still Manila.

“It is a must visit for most people if you ask me not for any one single sight but to breathe in the history particularly the political history of this country. From the Intramuros Spanish heritage to the Malate Chinese-Spanish influence, the very American-Chinese Binondo area, Roxas Boulevard, and Quezon City that has stamps of Marcos-era authority on it. The rich and dramatic history of this country is the (set of) stories that should be told again and again. Then there is the contemplation about what could have been if Ramon Magsaysay did not die an early death and I believe it would have prevented the rise of Marcos or at least his abuse of power.

“‘They had so many able people, educated in the Philippines and the US. Their workers were English-speaking, at least in Manila. There was no reason why the Philippines should not have been one of the more successful ASEAN countries.’ – Lee Kuan Yew

“You come to Manila for its history – not for its looks – but for its stories. Then you go to Makati, Ortigas, and now places like Fort Bonifacio and Alabang, and you realise what have been achieved here despite government failures for decades and still with problems. You see how things are changing and improving albeit not as fast as many would like it to be.

“You come to Manila to see the great promise that was broken and promise of the future. You come to see the possibility of human hope and spirit.

“Then you go the many great beaches, mountains, rivers, hotels, and contemplate these things and have a good time.”

So thanks for submitting your entry, Chin-Hin Low! You win a Php 1,000 Ayala eGC from Ovi by Nokia! Will get in touch with you soon.

Call for entries. For the third week, I’m looking for your must-try item discoveries (clothes, gadgets, etc.)! As with last week, register for a free Ovi account at http://www.ovi.com/ and use your new Ovi email account to send your entries to juddstamaria@ovi.com (please include your full name and contact number in your submissions). Here’s a sample entry:

I've been contemplating these past few weeks whether I should save up for a few months and buy a car, but then I realized that hey, there's another option: why not go for two wheels, instead? It consumes less gas, it'll allow me to weave through traffic better, and I probably can get a big-ass bike (no kidding, the Honda VFR pictured here ain't no small fry)!

Join now and win a Php 1,000 Ayala electronic gift certificate! Week 2 runs until March 16, 2010!

This contest is sponsored by Nokia Ovi.

Ricardo was a man half-mad in love with a stranger: Eliza, who packs her bag everyday with the most unusual things women would bring with them to work, who passes by the love-struck man’s post every single day on her way to her own confinement.

Yesterday, she brought with her a can of tuna flakes for lunch. They had a can opener in the office and she figured it was a cheap way to regain the energy halfway through the afternoon when everyone at work felt like watching the clock tick away to five o’clock, when they would all rush out of the building and unbind themselves from lousy Mondays. Specifically, she brought a certain flavor of tuna flakes with her: menudo, because her boss liked it. Her boss, she liked.

And yesterday was the day Ricardo decided to approach this lady in red – red in love and madder than his madness for her, for her love’s purpose was both for business and pleasure and whatever else comes with those – and tell her about his appreciation for every breath she steals from him every day he sees her from his post. He was to tell her, “Gusto kitang makilala (I want to know you),” to which she would probably respond by telling him, “Hindi ako nagpapakilala sa mga taong basta-basta lang (I don’t introduce myself to just anyone).” But he would go on and do it anyway, for at least it would be a good enough end to this madness: her voice telling him to fuck off and leave her alone.

“Gusto kitang makilala,” Ricardo told her, as soon as she appeared from the corner she always appears from everyday. He waited for her all morning in case she showed up earlier than usual, but she was on time, as she always is.

“Ako ba ang kausap mo (Are you talking to me)?” Eliza asked. She was in a good mood: earlier, she told herself that she would not be grouchy the whole day, so as not to spoil her preparations for her beloved boss. Happy thoughts all day through.

“Oo (Yes),” he replied. “Pasensya na, araw-araw ka kasing dumadaan dito. Lagi kitang nakikita. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, kilalang-kilala na kita. Pero hindi. Kaya gusto kitang makilala. (Sorry, it’s because you pass this way everyday. I always see you. So, I feel like I know much about you. But no. That’s why I want to know you.)”

“Pasensya na (Sorry),” she apologized. “Wala po akong maibibigay. Ito nalang. (I have nothing to give. Just this.)” She handed him the can of tuna flakes, bowed her head, and walked away. Wala po akong maibibigay, pagpasensyahan na po ninyo ako, sakto lang ang pamasahe ko. (I have nothing to give, my apologies, but I only brought enough for my fare.)

Ricardo took the can with him back to his post and had three things running through his mind simultaneously: that first, she did not find him weird; that second, whether he looked or sounded like the beggar she figured him to be; and that third, at least he received something for all of the stupid ogling he did for months.

Eliza would later visit a store during her lunch break and buy another can of tuna flakes of the same flavor to replace the one she gave Ricardo. She would later enjoy it with her boss, who would take her to a place of pleasure: a place familiar to Eliza, as the man guarding the entrance of the building was an insignificant person who earlier snacked on tuna flakes as well.

“Anak ng menudo!” Ricardo exclaimed in a excited hush. “Hindi ko ginustong malaman mong nagta-trabaho ako sa shortayman. Pero dahil narito ka na at mukhang ginagawa mo na ‘yung gusto kong ipagawa sa iyo, gusto mo ba akong maging bugaw mo? (I did not want you to figure out that I work at a short-time motel. But since you are already here and presumably already doing what I want you to do, would you like me to be your pimp?)”

(Originally posted on StaticRiot.)

It was a long night. Four hours, to be exact.

Yes, I watched Binibining Pilipinas’ Grand Coronation Night earlier, live at the Araneta Coliseum. I was rooting for #3, Patrixia Shirley Santos, previously crowned Miss Bicolandia 2009. However, she didn’t get into the top 10. (Don’t worry, ikaw pa rin ang panalo sa puso ko. Whatdafuck?)

#3, Patrixia Shirley Santos.

We were expecting #18, Helen Nicolette Henson, to bag one of the top three places (and represent the Philippines in international competition) after winning the Ms. Fit n’ Right, Ms. Philippine Airlines, and Ms. Photogenic awards as well as delivering a superb answer at the Q&A segment. It was disappointing to see her drop to fifth place, but I’m pretty sure people took notice and I think she should have a bright future ahead of her.

#18, Helen Nicolette Henson.

Ipagpatawad mong minahal kita agad.

One of the highlights of the night for me was the answer given by #21, Czarina Catherine Gatbonton, to the question posed to her by one of the judges. She was asked, “If you had another life to live, what would you like to be and why?” Here’s her response:

“Puno.”

“Magandang gabi po sa inyong lahat. Akin pong sasagutin ang inyong katanungan sa ating sariling wika, ang wikang Pilipino. Kung ako’y pagbibigyan po muli ng isa pang buhay, mas gugustuhin ko pong maging halam-… puno. Puno na nagbibigay sa atin ng hininga, nagbibigay sa atin ng buhay. Maraming salamat po.”

- Czarina Catherine Gatbonton, Binibining Pilipinas-World 2010

After relaying that tidbit from the coronation night to a friend, she told me this:

“Pero malalaki ang ugat nun! Saka laging iniihian ng aso. Every year, tumataba siya kasi nadadagdagan ng ring ‘yung trunk niya. Tapos hindi nakakagalaw. Pag minalas, papatumbahin siya ng illegal logger.”

- Anonymous friend

I think she has a point. (Doesn’t matter; Gatbonton would later be crowned Binibining Pilipinas-World. And yes, I think I like her charm.)

There were fans in the house, alright.

Dingdong Dantes and Carla Abellana hosted the event.

Anyway, it was an experience just being there to watch the show live. I’ve never attended an event like this before and while I might not be that much into it to want to attend more, at least I’ve had a story to tell today.

Helen Nicolette Henson (#18) and Dianne Necio (#22) received second and first runner-up honors, respectively. Krista Mae Arrieta Kleiner (#11) was crowned Binibining Pilipinas-International, Ma. Venus Raj (#10) was awarded Binibining Pilipinas-Universe, and Czarina Catherine Gatbonton (#21) became this year's Binibining Pilipinas-World.

Congratulations to the winners (and hello to #3)!

(Update: I have uploaded and added to this post videos of Czarina Catherine Gatbonton and Helen Nicolette Henson answering the question directed to them at the Q&A segment of the competition.)

“Buti nga ngayon, kahit paano, nararamdaman mong malamig kahit naka-dos lang; kanina, naka-tres na hindi mo pa halos maramdaman ‘yung lamig dahil lumalaban ‘yung init eh! Bukas nito, mamaya nito, kapag nagkarga ako ng LPG, iiyak ako. Diyan na mapupunta lahat ng pera ko. Sobrang init eh. Malakas kami sa gas kapag ganyang sobrang init. Lalo na pag nag-number three ka ng aircon, naku po! Isang oras akong naka-number three kanina! Mula alas-dies, alas-onse, alas-dose; ngayon lang ako nagbaba, o, dahil naramdaman kong malamig na eh.

“Hindi mo napansin, nakabuka ‘yung hood ko? Hehehe. Para may singawan ‘yung init ng makina! At March palang ngayon! Mas matindi ‘yan pagpasok ng April. Eh ano pa, El Nino pa. Kanina nga nagkulimlim na eh, nung umaga? Makulimlim na kaninang umaga eh. Sabi ko, ‘Ituloy mo na, iulan mo na ‘yan!’ Eh wala, hindi umulan.

“Ayan o ‘yung salamin, ang init. Hehehe. Sobrang init kung wala ‘yang tinapal ko diyang papel. Sobrang init sa balat niyan, kapag hindi ka naglagay ng cover na ganyan! Wala eh, bawal naman ang tint sa taxi eh.

“Kapag ganyang mainit, marami, maraming nag-o-overheat diyan na taxi. ‘Yung mga luma. Itong mga ganitong medyo bagu-bago pa, lumalaban ng konti. Ang dami kong nadaanan kanina eh, sa gasolinahan, ang daming nag-overheat! Hehehe.

“Itong sa akin naman, hindi nag-o-overheat, kaya lang, ayaw lumamig nung aircon kasi ‘yung sa compressor eh, nahihirapan siya. Binabasa ko nalang siya. Kapag nabasa na, mararamdaman mo, pipitik ‘yung aircon, mag-o-automatic. Pag pasok mo sa loob ng oto, malamig na! Lalamig na uli ‘yan. Iba ‘yung lamig nung pag nag-automatic ‘yung compressor.

“‘Yang airport taxi na ‘yan, bago ‘yan. Hindi madaling mag-init ‘yan. May binenta na silang ganyan dati, ganyang modelo. Yellow plate ‘yan, at iba’t iba ang may-ari. Hahaha! Ano ‘yan eh, parang korporasyon siya. Ngayon, puro airport taxi sila, kaya lang ang may-ari, iba-iba. Kunwari, sampung unit, kay Chavit, tapos ‘yung sampung unit, kay Pacman. Parang ganun ba, parang kabit-kabit sila. Kung sino ‘yung malalakas sa administrasyon, sa nakapuwesto, ‘yan ang nagmamay-ari ng mga taxi na ‘yan.

“Noong araw, di ba, ‘yung si Ramos pa yata ang nakaupo, ‘yang mga airport taxi hawak ni ano, may-ari si Matt Ranillo. Mayroon pa rin siya na units na nandoon ngayon sa airport, kaya lang hindi na tulad ng dati na talagang monopolized niya, na kanya lang ang nandoon.

“Kami nga eh bawal kami sa arrival eh! Puwede kaming maghatid, pero doon lang sa departure, doon sa arrival bawal na kami.

“Dito ka na ba bababa, sa Unitel? Puwedeng dito ka nalang bumaba sa tapat ng tindahan?”

- Mamang Drayber