Pop Thug

"Ito ang kuwento ng deer na green."

Ang deer na ito ay hindi talaga deer, kundi isang Leaf Unicorn. Ang Leaf Unicorn ay tadtad ng dahon, tulad ng makikita ninyo sa litrato sa taas. Tadtad ng dahon at mahilig sa mga lugar na maraming tao, tulad ng Market! Market!

Hindi iisa ang sungay ng Leaf Unicorn kundi dalawa at hugis sungay ng deer, ngunit huwag magdalawang-isip! Unicorn ang Leaf Unicorn at hindi kung ano mang uri ng malakabayong mammal.

Um pork.

Tuwing gusto ko ng baboy.

Nagkalat na ang mga baboy sa lansangan.

Visualizing a win-win situation.

Manalig ka! It’s all about faith. Believe you’ll win, and you shall receive. (Did I get that right? Because I don’t think I did.) This amazing stuffed toy churner is located at the second or third floor of Market! Market! It’s amazing why people don’t line up for this machine, because there’s just no way you’d freaking lose! Brilliant!

But wait, the voices of Chumbawamba are tubthumping through my skull:

“Mister Patatas, the experience of winning goes beyond what’s physical; intense toy-grabbing emotions have proven  catalysts in exposing the inner shallowness of people, pushing outwards the notion of victory, like a nirvana of sorts brought about by the raw, unbridled passions of people trying to grab pink, blue, and brown toys from a box! (We would have to quickly note that the experiment was done in an extremely controlled environment with idiot females who just hit puberty as subjects and colored dildos as the toys they’re reaching for.)”

Thus my disappointment, for the game was probably made for girls. Win Everytime my ass! (I just remembered the colored dildos, and having said that I just realized that I made that last sentence sound gay, hardcore.)